Grief Support
A Framework for Clarity
Grief is one of life’s most difficult and deeply personal experiences. It can affect us emotionally, physically and spiritually. It often comes in waves and with no clear pattern.
One framework that can help bring clarity to the grieving process is Worden’s Tasks of Mourning. While everyone experiences grief in their own unique way and at their own pace, psychologist William Worden’s approach offers a helpful perspective on how people adapt to loss.
Rather than viewing grief as a series of fixed stages that must be passively experienced, Worden suggests that mourning is an active process. He proposes that people work through a number of ‘tasks’ as they learn to live with their loss. These tasks are not completed in a set order, nor does everyone experience them in the same way or within the same timeframe. Instead, they provide a flexible framework that acknowledges the individual nature of grief while recognising the work involved in adjusting to life after loss.
Tasks of Mourning
- To Accept the Reality of the Loss – Although you know intellectually that the person has died, you may experience a sense of disbelief.
- To Work Through the Pain of Grief – Grief is experienced emotionally, cognitively, physically and spiritually.
- To Adjust to an Environment in which Your Loved One is Missing – External, internal and spiritual adjustments are made.
- To Find an Enduring Connection with the Deceased While Embarking on a New Life – Gradually you create a balance between remembering the person who died and living a full and meaningful life.
Grief is different for everyone. Every loss is unique, and so is every response to it.
Whether your grief is quiet or loud, sudden or slow, visible or private – it is valid.
Go gently, be kind to yourself and
take your time.
Support is Available
You are not alone in this.
Here are some trusted, New Zealand-based resources offering tools, articles, and support for those experiencing grief and loss:
- 🕊️ Anxiety NZ - The Stages of Grief
A clear guide to understanding grief, emotional responses, and how to care for yourself. - 🌿 Healthify NZ - Grief & Loss Support
Practical advice and helplines for navigating grief and supporting others. - 💬 Skylight Trust - Grief & Loss Support
Resources for individuals, families, and youth facing all forms of loss and change. - Sands - Pregnancy, Baby and Infant loss support
A network of parent-run, non-profit groups supporting families